Outside the Pigeon Holes

Today's Psalm - 39 which begins: I said, "I will watch my ways and keep my tongue from sin; I will put a muzzle on my mouth as long as the wicked are in my presence." Timely and appropriate for some recent interpersonal dealings. I am starting each day with a Psalm. I read it outloud to the fuzzies. It's good bonding time and a good way to get my head in gear for the adventures of the day. Last night's Alpha was neat. It was about why Jesus died. Lee played excerpts from The Passion. And then he gave a scripture and pointed out a verse which added to my continuing clarification of just what the cross is really about. He quoted Hebrews 12:2... 2 Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. As soon as he read it, tears came to my eyes because I internalized what it is saying...The "joy set b...

Since I am living a day at a time now, I want to try to keep up with some sort of daily wrap up...or at least weekly...Or monthly...or something...You know how these things go. It was indeed God's voice that whispered to me when I was running errands a couple of weeks ago. I was worried about finding a job and thinking that while I really desired my job with the county back I believed it was time for me to realize that at least for this year, that would not be a possibility. Then I heard/sensed/felt the words (dunno if it's really audible, but God does communicate with me in words).."You don't think that I would answer you when you told that mountain to move?" (earlier in the summer I acted on Jesus' mustard seed promise - that with just faith that small you can tell a mountain to move and it will - and I stood at the mountain of "the county powers that be" and told it "Move"). I wasn't sure if what I heard was really Him or if it was j...

On Friday I volunteered with World Vision at the Barlow Girl/Matthew West/Down Here concert. I wasn't really up for going since I had to be up early to head up to Cleveland to the Yankee Peddler Fest (which was a groovin' time! Thanks, Shari and fam!). I decided to go since I missed BG last time they were here. Volunteers needed to be there an hour before the show to get our bearings. The Underground is a big standing-room only club. All the merchandise tables and the World Vision tables are stationed around the perimeter of the audience area. were were standing outside the WV booth with Erin, the volunteer coordinator (who is married to the drummer in Down Here) and a guy came over and stood next to me. He said "Are these our World Vision volunteers?" Erin said "Yes"...The guy said "You guys are awesome for doing this" then he turned to me and extended his hand and said "I'm Matthew West". Trying to hide being caught off guard (I had...

the addictions training class that we went through for the Growth and Healing ministry we are launching at VWS was a great experience. Linda had us work through some of the steps to give is a taste of what recovering addicts go through on their healing journies. Reading through the AA "Big Book" and working through first 4 steps revealed to me that Gerald Mann was right when he said "Alcoholics Anonymous" is the Gospel in Drag. It totally is...The precepts and principals are identical to Jesus' teachings on right living...Putting God and others first, giving God our junk, serving others, and living one day at a time...It's all there. It also taught me that I was on the right track when I was a teetotaler between the ages 15 and 33...Not that I believe drinking is bad, but because when I look at the traits and family history of the typical alcoholic, I see a lot of similarities in myself. In a lot of ways, before I became healthier and stable with meds, I ma...

This one gets a big Dan "WOW"... Journey with me to the interview I had today! It was with a Preschool which shall remain nameless for its own protection and all names have been changed. :) This lovely Thursday morning, I travelled over the river to the corporate office of the Preschool That Must Not Be Named (Heretofore known as "PTMNBN"). Upon entering, I observe a girl - I am assuming the receptionist - sitting at her desk...but on the floor next to her big comfy desk chair. She is talking on the phone. She is discussing the crap someone keeps pulling, how tired she is of it and what she is going to do to prevent it in the future. She barely acknowledges me. I stand there for a couple of minutes and then another lady comes out of an office behind the front desk. She is quite friendly and introduces herself as Donna. She takes me into her office, confirms my name and asks me to have a seat. "How much time do you have today?" She asks. "I...

Well, it looks like my days of hoping I will get called back to the county have ended. Kathy replied to my inquiry and said that their need for a TA anywhere in the program is looking very slim. So now I must step up my job search. I have been less aggressive in the hopes that my county job would come back for me. It looks like that won't happen this year. :( Maybe my teaching days are over. sigh. What a dream job that was...I wish I hadn't had to get dragged through Covington and grad school to learn that. I'd still be employed because I'd have had my continuing contract at 4 years. Let this be a lesson to all about PRIDE. If you have a job you enjoy with people you like but you think you're too smart to be labeled a "paraprofessional" or think that people don't think as highly of you because of that or envy other people having a real "career", tell your pride and envy to take a hike and do what you enjoy. This has been a harsh lesson for me...

It seems I move more places with my journal on the internet than I do places to live. Oh well...That's the beauty of the internet. You can move around when in real life you feel a little stuck. Which I do feel. I want to do many things but I am fearful and unsure. My typical lot. Scripture says perfect love drives out fear...What exactly does that mean, though? I struggle with this almost daily. I have grown some but fear remains the thorn that keeps me in one place. Like Peter struggled with loyalty and fear, and Thomas struggled with believing without seeing. I know in my head that God loves me and will not forsake me. I am His "Talitha" through Christ. I know this. I don't know how to LIVE it. One day I pray my whole being will wallow lavishly in this truth. Not so I can do whatever I want, but so that I can really know freedom from my own head. And maybe somehow be able to communicate how to live it out. Probably I have too much time on my hands right now. I need ...

I have been thinking of my old friend Ron for weeks now...And I have found him...On Hamilton County's website for current prison inmates...What a sad discovery. Last night I was looking up the photos of the 2 people they caught who broke into our neighbors house. While I was glancing through some of the other names out of curiosity, Ron's name came to mind but I didn't look him up. Who would think to look for a friend in prison? But today as Denny and I were perusing the inmate list "for fun", I saw his name and gasped. I brought up the inmate's picture and it was indeed my old friend Ron. It appears that he us in for theft and forgery. But he has a record of about 10 other incidents mostly for the same things. Funny that God has been impressing on me a desire to do some sort of prison outreach. Now I have a starting place. I am going to send Ron a note. I want him to know that I still think about him and remember him as mine and Allen's "son" (l...