Outside the Pigeon Holes

I happen to enjoy and find value in many things that probably are not very "Christian"....I like heavy metal music (the non- Christian kind), I like going out to bars, having a drink and singing some karaoke. I love working on theatrical productions and horror films and the USS Nightmare Haunted boat. I once had a blast backstage at a drag show. Yes, yes, I know...I probably should have instead been at church praying for the salvation of all those drag queens....BAD Christian! But you know what I found there? I found a group of people who were enjoyable to be around, who laughed and loved on me, welcomed me in, gave great fashion tips and were fellow performers who I could share backstage stories with. I suppose I could look at it in one of two ways - this welcoming in was a ploy of the devil to tear me away from my Christianity and lure me into a lifestyle of sin and degradation...Or I could see that I spent time with a group of folks who differ from me in some foundationa...

Adventure called and I answered. Stepped from my fears and boxes, Spread my wings - believing again I was Free to fly. But the wind tore at my face. A cold, bitter rain made flight heavy. Lies carefully crafted around truth embedded themselves in my skin And drained their poison into my soul, Blinding me from what was real, Deafening the voice of love That whispered gently, kindly and wisely. Panic stricken I landed, Limping defeated into the Safe, dull security of the known. I turn again to watch braver eagles Swoop and soar above me Taking chances with the rain and wind. Weaving in and out with skillful artistry As if relying on an invisible safety. Faithful it will never let them down. Faithful. Trusting. Fearless. It is a freedom I deny As I chain myself to a prison of safety, Certain I was not meant for flight. Convinced that the longing for adventure Is only a dangerous darkness, Tempting me into too much that is unknown. Too much I cannot control...

Photo borrowed from: www.cincinnatichamber.com I DECLARE A SUPER FUN, SAFE and BLESSED HOLIDAY WEEKEND TO ALL! MAY YOU KNOW THAT GOD LOVES EACH OF YOU EXACTLY AS YOU ARE.... PERIOD. (Thanks, Maria for reminding me of the importance of speaking God's Truth of life and love into the atmosphere!)

photo credit: raphael gerber I was not born to be traditional. There is nothing traditional about me or my life. Never really has been. No matter how hard I have tried to cram myself into that box - thinking that eventually I will get there, I have to come to terms with the fact that God did not make me to be run-of-the-mill. I have a knack for completely obliterating any box that reads "This is what life is supposed to be", "These are what milestones you should have reached by age 40", "These are the kinds of people you should hang with if you're a good Christian girl", etc. etc...Sometimes I look at people who have 'that life' and think I am missing something. It seems like if I had kids or was married or had an income that was heftier that I would then be a real grown up. Then again, maybe that's just a lie straight from the pit of hell...Even though I'm single with no kids, living in a one-bedroom apartment with a menagerie o...

NOTE: Please forgive the horrid formatting in this post...Blogger is screwing up picture placement and spacing and I can't fix it...So, like that last post that had random words in it...Just ignore...SIGGHHH... On with the story.... Not only did I single-handedly carry the 12-ton boxes up the stairs, I also put together my new Ikea computer desk all by my little self...With no cussing and only a few WTF?'s (that doesn't count since it's a question and not a curse).    Destruction Construction calls for music. Pandora Internet Radio set to John Tesh or Yanni works well to keep the nerves soothed. Are you laughing at John Tesh? Shame on you. He is a good Christian man...And he gives free healthy lifestyle tips on STAR 93.3!      Um...Looks like I already violated rule number one...The guy in that picture is obviously not a badass if he has to have a friend help him carry the boxes!    Dinah shows how she matches the Birch Effect color scheme of the ...

A day at the ball park with fabulous people...God rocks! We waited...A nd waited...A nnnnd waited for the rest of our party to arrive. Please ignore the random word 'edit' below (??!)... edit Sara makes contact. "Take me out to the crowd....I don't like peanuts or cracker Jacks...but barbecue chicken and chips will do... " Shiloh on the big screen! I think something was happening here. Sara looking perky. She has the same ass as her mom.. . (it's a Shiloh thing, you might not understand).... Dan...And part of my hand. Yep, I'm a real pro! Jim decided that texting with his daughter was more interestin g than watching the Reds lose again (I myself would never text while sitting with other people...Never. Ever. And I'd never text someone who was sitting right next to me either, that would be silly). What we all ventured down for - Steven Curtis Chapman LIVE! Jumbotrons make for good concert viewing. Oooh. I...

On Wednesday I visited Ikea with my friend Jim. I had never been there before and had no idea that it was actually like an 'experience'...I'd just heard it was a store I needed to visit before I die. I wondered why Maria once said we'd need a couple of hours when we had discussed going a few weeks back. Like any good journalist I documented my visit with some pictures. I would have taken more but I got caught up in the shopping... Me prior to Ikea. Note the innocence in my eyes. Jim is excited to find new stuff for his bachelor pad. He knows the ropes at Ikea. I was clueless as to what I was about to encounter. Wow...It's huge...like a mall...But just one store...That's crazy! Isn't it just a sofa shop? This is where you enter. See, I caught on really fast. An "eProp" computer. Very clever. It's not real. Really. There are couches on the wall. You simply select the one you want and then pull it off the wall and into your cart. A...

Someone asked me today if I thought I was one of the 'good singers' at karaoke and if I would sing to him if he called me (uh...NO)...I figured I'd let him decide if I was a good singer or not since that's a matter of opinion. So I created the following video just for kicks using a track I recorded a few years ago at my friend's studio. I originally planned to use random photos from my collection just to have something to look at while the song played. But of course, I got carried away and invested a few hours into improvising something that had meaning. This is the result. Thanks, Chuck for being the catalyst! LOL!

As I adjust to life on my own I am experiencing some crazy ups and downs. Which I guess is normal. But today I feel called to finally lay down what has happened over the last few years so that its damage will not affect what God has in store for my life on all fronts. When you're married, you're locked into a particular mindset - an idea of the future. And even though it might not be what it should be, it does provide some amount of stability. So when that old, comfortable rug (no matter how bad its condition) is pulled out from under your feet, it turns even the familiar on its end. Through God's divine grace, I have been returned to where I started when this all began. My mom lives in the apartment below, I am single and enjoying the adventure thereof, I have the perfect job. Do-overs are a blessing. However, it is also impossible to pretend that I am the same person I was then. Because there's this span of time that happened. Years given to another person. I was...

These have been sitting in my Bible since I wrote them down sometime in the winter. I'm finally getting around to journaling them. currently, these are my lifetime dreams and goals which could obviously change or morph over time... In no particular order: 1. Visit Australia 2. Visit St. Croix 3. Teach Sozo 4. Have one week without worry 5. Grow to a point of complete trust in my salvation 6. Meet a man I can love and TRUST 7. Cut a CD 8. Sing on the VWS Praise Team 9. Go horseback riding again 10. Knit something ridiculously cool 11. Visit Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Utah 12. Meet the remaining favorite celebs that I have on my list. 13. See certain loved ones get set free and/or find Christ 14. Sing with David Phelps (even if it's just "Happy Birthday"!). 15. Spend time with Father God, Jesus and Holy Spirit everyday and cultivate such a relationship with them that the supernatural is natural. 16 . Get rid of all religious lies ...

I was reading my Bible last night (Message Version) and this was what I stumbled upon: "Jesus said, 'no procrastination. No backward looks. You can't put God's Kingdom off til tomorrow. SEIZE THE DAY '" - Luke 9:62 Woohoo!

Funny how when you step out of comfort zones you get...well...uncomfortable! Saturday and Sunday were kinda weird...I worried alot. I second guessed a lot...I imagine I'll have lot of that until I get my full grown Eagle's wings... :) Saturday I saw my girlies at Zen and Now...Theresa and Tracy played "Guido" and got the decree signed for me because I didn't really feel like dealing with the ex - we always end up arguing. I hate that...Harmony is one of my top 5 strengths. Disharmony eats away at me. And I'm not in a place where I can yet let go of my irritation. Planning to maybe take care of that tonight at Monday group - a little clean-up mini-sozo - offering up forgiveness in the presence of supportive friends. Hopefully one day we'll have peace with each other. We're both good people at heart. We just aren't good together. I took the puppers to the dog park yesterday afternoon. Sometimes I forget to appreciate them. They are such blessings...I...

It all began Friday night. My friend Jim was playing piano at The Syndicate. I had a couple of friends who were going to go with me to see him. But they were called away by cleaning duty at home. So I was left wondering if I should journey down to the piano bar alone. That's when Paul said: "Carpe Diem...You should go". ...So I did. And had a wonderful evening. Jim played at this huge white Grand Piano which made me think of my beloved Barry Manilow. :) He was taking requests so I asked for "Desperado". I love that song and it brings back a wonderful memory I have of riding in a convertible with Allen across the California desert back in the 90s. Following that someone (not me, I swear!) requested "Mandy" by Barry Manilow. So Jim sang that one and then went right into another Manilow tune "Could it be Magic" - one of my favorites. I listened to the music while writing a letter to Gina - my oldest and dearest friend. I also talked to Jesus for...

A friend of mine said this to me last night and I don't think he realized when he said it that it would become something so meaningful. I am going to take the rest of the summer to walk out this concept of seizing the day. I have lived a life of fear and in recent years God has been ridding me of it. I have stepped into things that I never would have before without analyzing and hyper-spiritualizing it to the point of paralysis. What I have learned quite clearly in recent days is that you can follow all the 'rules' and the 'they says' and still end up flat on your ass. So I have been taking the bull by the horns a lot more than I used to and it has been great! I have scraped my knees a few times and taken a horn in the gut more than once. But it beats sitting on the sidelines worrying. I used to think that living life this way was ungodly...I mean, what if you make a mistake? What if you do something bad? What if...What if...What if..? Well, WHAT IF??? What if God...

As a former Pharisee, I am possibly acting like a reformed smoker here but man, these folks ticked me off! A Christian comedian left a status message on Facebook that said: Evangelical Christians are so pro-marriage that 50% of us do it again Ok, I know what he was driving at...But of course the majority of the responses were things like "Yeah! What's wrong with people", "Way to speak the truth, man!" "I've been married for 8 bajillion years and I'm all that because I have it all figured out!"...You know what I'm talking about. Well, since this hit close to home, I replied with: "A large percentage of Christians also think it's OK to shame other Christians for their failures." Which of course drew the age old 'we're supposed to label sin as sin...Paul tells us so...We're not being judgmental when we say that something that is wrong is wrong" And other such generalities. Some folks actually believed that most ...

I was invited to guest blog on a website called Stuck In the 80s Here is a sneak preview of the blog...This is the "writers edit" It could be edited down...Dunno how it works... Being a single mom of two ornery cats, one spoiled Jack Russell and a maltese with a heart condition (aka - a walking pharmacy) I have to skimp on some things - like CDs and i-Tunes purchases. I have loads of vinyl but alas, my turntable is as broke as my bank account. So when this girl is weekend cleaning and has a craving for some good music she turns to Pandora Internet Radio http://www.pandora.com/ . Here, I can type in the name of an artist to create a station featuring songs by that artist and similar artists. While I enjoy Pandora overall, past station-creation attempts have been somewhat disappointing. It is, after all, something of a crap shoot. One recent day, though, Praise be, I stumbled upon the key to Pandora's Box of 80s lovers nostalgia. Write it down: KAJAGOOGOO. In the next two h...

Just a pondering in my ponderous journey of faith... A fictional example of man-made doctrine: Church of the Vine ** is the exclusive representation of the Kingdom of God on Earth...No one comes to the Father except through it...Here's how that works: 1. 32.3% of your earnings must be given to the Church of the Vine . Anything less is mortal sin, for God needs your money. 2. Homage must be paid to Papal Majesty Tim**...For he is the exclusive representation of Christ on earth... 3. To request forgiveness of sin, we must make restitution first to Tim...Tim then mediates for us to Mary who mediates to Joseph (a woman could never of course have free access to the Lord. She must speak through her husband) who mediates to Jesus who mediates to God. 4. If we have paid our 32.3% faithfully and have given at least a tenth of our time to serving the church of the vine, then we will be restored to right standing. 5. If we follow this process all the days of our lives we will earn eternal sa...

I'm scratching my head here... From People Magazine in an article about Mel Gibson's faith (mind you - I like Mel)... "There is no salvation for those outside the Church," (Mel Gibson) said. "I believe it." He explained: "Put it this way. My wife is a saint. She's a much better person than I am. Honestly. She's, like, Episcopalian, Church of England. She prays, she believes in God, she knows Jesus, she believes in that stuff. And it's just not fair if she doesn't make it, she's better than I am. But that is a pronouncement from the chair. I go with it." HUH? She prays, believes in God and knows Jesus .. How is she missing the boat????

So many things are changing in my life...So many things coming at me to navigate and steer through. Things that challenge and stretch me. Things that are forcing me to rely on the grace and direction of God; Things that I have no idea for certain if they are the right things or not...But I believe them to be when I'm not bogged down in anxiety. But I am finding myself in a really scary place where I am also able to say: "I may be wrong, I may be right, I may be crazy (isnt that a Billy Joel song??), but I have grace. I am covered. I have a God who will never leave me or forsake me. NEVER. Neither death nor life can separate me from His love...Because of Jesus." I will stumble and I will fall no matter how hard I try to stay on my feet, but I will always be safe. And as crazy as all of this is, as scary and as wild, I feel alive again.... ...And maybe that tells me enough.

We're putting together a song for Jed , one of our favorite people...We'll be singing it in April as a surprise. He has called us the "singing telegram girls" ever since we did one for the front men of Air Supply back in 1999. Here is a 'making of' video for Jed's song. Shhhhh - don't tell him we're planning this!