Living Free
This idea has been bubbling around in my head for quite sometime - probably since a prayer dude at VCC said to me years ago "You need to truly experience grace" when I told him of how I often get rule-bound. I have hedged toward this when I renamed my blog "Renegade, reports from the road of grace" and in becoming less afraid to voice things that I think that might go against the grain of my evangelical Christian background.
There are lots of Christian books about 'living free' that are great, I love folks like Beth Moore. She has some great studies on getting free, but in the end if I was honest, I'd say it usually ends with me thinking 'this is a lot of work for something that is supposedly FREE because it was paid for in advance by God.
Inspired now by this book:
I am going to practice sort of the opposite - I am going to buck the system. I am going to live how I might if I had not been indoctrinated as a child into the rules of churchitude, but rather into a simple God-loving, folksy way of life that is simply about taking care of self and others. I think that is really what Jesus was after and what he has to offer.
I have had this theory for a while that Jesus and company are everywhere, can be found everywhere, are working all the time, everyday to make God's love known to all people (and not so they will start going to church but just so they will know His love). This may include allowing myself to refer to the Holy Spirit as 'She' (because I believe The Spirit is feminine despite what patriarchal tradition says), accepting 'sinners' (what really does that mean anyway?) as spiritual equals and not simply recipients of 'love the sinner, hate the sin' tolerance, once again practicing yoga without worrying that I am opening 'spiritual bad doors'....Basically, I am going to take God at his Word (the grace and love Jesus Christ taught) without stumbling on the minutia of Bible rules and Paul's admonitions to his churches.
I want to see if I really am still loved, still blessed, still cared for, am not punished, and am not calling the devil upon myself by possibly breaking rules.
This will require two very hard things (rules??!):
1 - An out and out rebellion against what my favorite handsome man has named the "Marinara Mafia" (formerly known as 'spaghetti head') - Those thoughts in my brain that second guess me and everyone else; Making me suspicious of other's motives, my own spiritual safety, God's love, and what my friends really think of me. It means shutting down those voices or at the very least pushing through them and not letting them stifle me.
2 - TRUSTING GOD when He says "I've got you - do not be afraid".
I am going to chew through the bondage if it kills me. And if it does kill me (or land me in the funny farm) then I hope that somehow, someway, the journey will help someone else know they are not alone in wondering why "Freedom in Christ" so often comes with a new list of dos and don'ts...Because I have a feeling that I am not alone in this query.
I will blog about it as much as possible, but will not create any rules about how often.
I will do it purposefully but without an agenda...I'm just going to be me. Maybe not even the best me that I can be...Just the raw ME and let that be OK.
Maybe Ill find that IS ok!
There are lots of Christian books about 'living free' that are great, I love folks like Beth Moore. She has some great studies on getting free, but in the end if I was honest, I'd say it usually ends with me thinking 'this is a lot of work for something that is supposedly FREE because it was paid for in advance by God.
Inspired now by this book:
I am going to practice sort of the opposite - I am going to buck the system. I am going to live how I might if I had not been indoctrinated as a child into the rules of churchitude, but rather into a simple God-loving, folksy way of life that is simply about taking care of self and others. I think that is really what Jesus was after and what he has to offer.
I have had this theory for a while that Jesus and company are everywhere, can be found everywhere, are working all the time, everyday to make God's love known to all people (and not so they will start going to church but just so they will know His love). This may include allowing myself to refer to the Holy Spirit as 'She' (because I believe The Spirit is feminine despite what patriarchal tradition says), accepting 'sinners' (what really does that mean anyway?) as spiritual equals and not simply recipients of 'love the sinner, hate the sin' tolerance, once again practicing yoga without worrying that I am opening 'spiritual bad doors'....Basically, I am going to take God at his Word (the grace and love Jesus Christ taught) without stumbling on the minutia of Bible rules and Paul's admonitions to his churches.
I want to see if I really am still loved, still blessed, still cared for, am not punished, and am not calling the devil upon myself by possibly breaking rules.
This will require two very hard things (rules??!):
1 - An out and out rebellion against what my favorite handsome man has named the "Marinara Mafia" (formerly known as 'spaghetti head') - Those thoughts in my brain that second guess me and everyone else; Making me suspicious of other's motives, my own spiritual safety, God's love, and what my friends really think of me. It means shutting down those voices or at the very least pushing through them and not letting them stifle me.
2 - TRUSTING GOD when He says "I've got you - do not be afraid".
I am going to chew through the bondage if it kills me. And if it does kill me (or land me in the funny farm) then I hope that somehow, someway, the journey will help someone else know they are not alone in wondering why "Freedom in Christ" so often comes with a new list of dos and don'ts...Because I have a feeling that I am not alone in this query.
I will blog about it as much as possible, but will not create any rules about how often.
I will do it purposefully but without an agenda...I'm just going to be me. Maybe not even the best me that I can be...Just the raw ME and let that be OK.
Maybe Ill find that IS ok!
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