A reply to Matt Walsh

A heartfelt reply to an 'absolute truth' teller who takes on the divorce issue (under the guise of it being just about 'people who have divorce parties'). This one is for all those who are in or have left terrible, destructive marriages but still feel the scorn from the 'perfect plan' people.

Here's the link to the post

Here is my reply.

As bothered as you were with the guy in the grocery store, I grow weary of the judgment from the 'I'm staying married forever no matter what!!' screamers who seem to think they have it all figured out on how they will keep it together... "I just have to CHOOOOSSE to stay'....Good luck with that when you wake up to find that your spouse didn't change, but was never the person you thought they were in the first place. Divorce is never easy....EVER. It sucks. As happy as I was it was over I still cried the day the gavel came down in the courtroom. I wanted to grab my ex by the shoulders and say 'WHY??! Why did you do this?'! But if I hadn't left I would have stayed in a cycle of psychological and spiritual hell that was making me sick. 

I hope that everyone can keep it together...I don't wish divorce on anyone. I tried. For 4 1/2 years out of my 6 year first marriage I worked my ass off to get counseling for me, for him, for us...I tried to trust again. And trust again. And again. In the end Papa God opened the door and said, 'Go. now is the time;' And I am eternally glad that I did. I didn't throw a party specifically for the divorce but I did throw a damn fun birthday party that same week and especially enjoyed the fresh start that I had.

There are people in much worse situations than I was. There are women married to porn addicted, sex addicted men who they cannot leave their children alone with for fear of what will happen...And if those women want to throw themselves a party after they find freedom from that I will bring balloons, buy the cake and pay for the margaritas.

God is a redeemer. He can redeem anything. I am married again to a beautiful, loving man. One who knows my story and is sensitive to the struggle that brought me out of my first marriage...And likewise I am sensitive to what led him out of his. Together we are stronger than before in our marriage. He is not my second choice. He is the one I wished could have been the first. But we can only deal with what is handed to us at the time it is handed.

Many blessings for continued fidelity, love, joy, and strength in your marriage, Matt. I humbly ask that you and all who share your ‘together forever no matter what’ plan to be mindful that most of us who divorced had that very same plan. You are not better than me or stronger or more determined than me in your marriage. We are all walking a journey that sometimes gets more complicated and agonizing than we ever imagined it might.
I hope you never have to face what some of us have. If you do, I hope you find grace and understanding even if you want to throw yourself a liberation party.