Emerging....

Recently I have been slogging through some spiritual growth. My closest friends are very much - and sometimes painfully - aware of this. I thank them for their consistent love and patience. I have needed it as I have pushed past some anger, frustration and insecurity. Through it I have gained confidence in embracing the faith that has always been inside but that I have been afraid or unsure of. I have finally been able to be honest about some things I have long questioned about mainline evangelical Christianity. I have started to admit that some things I simply can't be down with because I think they fall short of the message of Jesus.

I still struggle with fear because I wonder "what happens when I become free enough to accept that my grid is (and in many cases always has been) different on some foundational things?" Do I talk about them or keep them to myself? Would I still be accepted? Would I become the target of prayer intervention? Will I be warned to be careful what I read (this has happened!). Or am I just worried for nothing? Either way, keeping it to myself has been frustrating because I'm kind of a 'heart on my sleeve' sort of personality.

So I figure this is a safe place to articulate it and get it off my chest.

Here goes nothin'....

I do not believe everything in Scripture is literally true. I think stories like Job and Jonah are Jewish literary pieces that - like all of the Bible - are inspired by the Holy Spirit and contain important messages for people of faith. But they aren't necessarily infallible, dictated messages from God. I believe reading the Bible this way diminishes its worth as the living, breathing, continuing story of the relationship between God and Creation.

I do not believe that just because 'it says it in the Bible' that I have to do it or that it is not debatable. The carte blanche phrase 'hey - it's in the Bible, I didn't say it, God did" doesn't always fly for me - too much abuse has happened under that flag.

I don't think that Creation and the idea of evolution are incompatible. I believe the earth is likely much older than 6,000 years... I just can't follow the hard-lined Creationist theology that refuses to take into account any evidence from scientific study that indicates evolutionary development of the world and humans.

I believe men and women are spiritual equals and either is capable of spiritually leading a family (I believe leading together creates an even stronger force than one or the other being sole 'head'). I do not believe that the 'intended' leader should always be the man or that this makes God the most happy. This isn't to say that men and women are the same. Both have strengths and weaknesses common among their genders that the other can compliment or supplement. I think Jesus and Paul both began chipping away at the patriarchal strongholds of their times - fully intending for it to eventually lead to complete spiritual freedom for women (in fact for everyone!)...

I do not necessarily read Revelation as a predictor of the future. I do not live as if the return of Jesus in physical form is right around the corner...I used to think I had to if I wanted to be a "REAL Bible-Believing Christian" (whatever that means). Thankfully Papa God set me free from that.


I do not believe God put me here simply to fight a spirit war anymore than people give birth to kids for the 'pleasure' of sending them off to boot camp with a hope that they will see a real live war. I believe God put me here to live life abundantly. He has equipped me to do battle when it comes up (and it will) but I can't live in that mindset constantly. I think this is why soldiers who come back from a tour of duty sometimes go insane. They never get out of 'battle' mode. I can be a mighty warrior (that can be exhilarating, no doubt) but I am not meant to be a war monger.

I think that Jesus intended for me to have a much closer focus on the here and now rather than the there and then. To me, the eternal is not the 'most important' aspect of my faith. Jesus secured that thousands of years ago. What is happening right here today is what is important. How I treat people and the world around me have much more meaning to me than some apocalypse that may or may not happen literally as written in Revelation.

Those are a few of the "Don't believes"....

What I do believe is that Jesus Christ is real, that in Him is the full revelation of the character of God, that the Holy Spirit is available to everyone at any time whoever and wherever they are...and He might just show up at places that aren't protestant evangelical Christian churches.

I believe I am called to love...Nothing more, nothing less. I believe that offering the love of Christ in me is a more difficult and elusive process than any religious race-running that I could set my spiritual shoes to. If I focus on love (as I think I'm supposed to) I could (and probably should!) stay occupied for the remainder of my days just mastering that command.

I have discovered that I apparently lean "emergent" or "post-modern"** but I really have no interest in cycling through yet another orthodoxy. My brain and spirit hurt just thinking about that. I think in the end the Holy Spirit transcends the minutia of doctrines/theologies/orthodoxies anyway.

So my question becomes: Is it possible to bridge two paradigms and find the harmony between them? See between the lines to the deeper reality of Christ?

And do it with grace?

I hope so.....

That's all I wanted to say.

Pass the granola.


** More in a following post about this...