Building a new foundation...

Another post that is actually a reply...This kinda sums up where I am in my journey with Jesus...Most of my friends already know all this...But just in case anyone else is interested....

For a while I had to stop listening to sermons. Even by people who I love and admire. My "inputter" was overwhelmed with contradictory messages, "7 steps to..." messages and simple answers to complex issues. For a while, to open the Bible was akin to this scene in Harry Potter: 

http://images.wikia.com/harrypotter/images/e/e8/12ss07.jpg
http://images.wikia.com/harrypotter/images/e/e8/12ss07.jpg


It was like opening a box of screaming voices that wanted to tell me how badly I was screwing up and how much I still needed to do to be pleasing, how this thing called 'God's will' was what was leading me down so many confusing roads (when it was really my anxious heart trying to be perfect for a false, demanding God). 

This last year I finally broke. And my friends held me as I cried. And Papa came near and He said 'rest...stop thinking so much and striving so much, explore with me, enjoy life, stop trying to solve the world's problems and for my sake, stop trying to be RIGHT all the time'...My whole foundation (of sinking sand) was ripped out from under me and all I had left was me, God, and those who loved me...And ya know what - IT IS ENOUGH. 

I'm slowly getting back to being able to take in. And I am taking in what I want without fear that I'll read the wrong thing or get on the wrong track. My faith is stronger, but still feels kind of new, learning to walk on fresh legs that are built a little differently. But I feel freer than I have in a long time.

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Francy said…
Love you!
7:57 PM
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