Outside the Pigeon Holes

Someone asked me today if I thought I was one of the 'good singers' at karaoke and if I would sing to him if he called me (uh...NO)...I figured I'd let him decide if I was a good singer or not since that's a matter of opinion. So I created the following video just for kicks using a track I recorded a few years ago at my friend's studio. I originally planned to use random photos from my collection just to have something to look at while the song played. But of course, I got carried away and invested a few hours into improvising something that had meaning. This is the result. Thanks, Chuck for being the catalyst! LOL!

As I adjust to life on my own I am experiencing some crazy ups and downs. Which I guess is normal. But today I feel called to finally lay down what has happened over the last few years so that its damage will not affect what God has in store for my life on all fronts. When you're married, you're locked into a particular mindset - an idea of the future. And even though it might not be what it should be, it does provide some amount of stability. So when that old, comfortable rug (no matter how bad its condition) is pulled out from under your feet, it turns even the familiar on its end. Through God's divine grace, I have been returned to where I started when this all began. My mom lives in the apartment below, I am single and enjoying the adventure thereof, I have the perfect job. Do-overs are a blessing. However, it is also impossible to pretend that I am the same person I was then. Because there's this span of time that happened. Years given to another person. I was...

These have been sitting in my Bible since I wrote them down sometime in the winter. I'm finally getting around to journaling them. currently, these are my lifetime dreams and goals which could obviously change or morph over time... In no particular order: 1. Visit Australia 2. Visit St. Croix 3. Teach Sozo 4. Have one week without worry 5. Grow to a point of complete trust in my salvation 6. Meet a man I can love and TRUST 7. Cut a CD 8. Sing on the VWS Praise Team 9. Go horseback riding again 10. Knit something ridiculously cool 11. Visit Best Friends Animal Sanctuary in Utah 12. Meet the remaining favorite celebs that I have on my list. 13. See certain loved ones get set free and/or find Christ 14. Sing with David Phelps (even if it's just "Happy Birthday"!). 15. Spend time with Father God, Jesus and Holy Spirit everyday and cultivate such a relationship with them that the supernatural is natural. 16 . Get rid of all religious lies ...

I was reading my Bible last night (Message Version) and this was what I stumbled upon: "Jesus said, 'no procrastination. No backward looks. You can't put God's Kingdom off til tomorrow. SEIZE THE DAY '" - Luke 9:62 Woohoo!

Funny how when you step out of comfort zones you get...well...uncomfortable! Saturday and Sunday were kinda weird...I worried alot. I second guessed a lot...I imagine I'll have lot of that until I get my full grown Eagle's wings... :) Saturday I saw my girlies at Zen and Now...Theresa and Tracy played "Guido" and got the decree signed for me because I didn't really feel like dealing with the ex - we always end up arguing. I hate that...Harmony is one of my top 5 strengths. Disharmony eats away at me. And I'm not in a place where I can yet let go of my irritation. Planning to maybe take care of that tonight at Monday group - a little clean-up mini-sozo - offering up forgiveness in the presence of supportive friends. Hopefully one day we'll have peace with each other. We're both good people at heart. We just aren't good together. I took the puppers to the dog park yesterday afternoon. Sometimes I forget to appreciate them. They are such blessings...I...

It all began Friday night. My friend Jim was playing piano at The Syndicate. I had a couple of friends who were going to go with me to see him. But they were called away by cleaning duty at home. So I was left wondering if I should journey down to the piano bar alone. That's when Paul said: "Carpe Diem...You should go". ...So I did. And had a wonderful evening. Jim played at this huge white Grand Piano which made me think of my beloved Barry Manilow. :) He was taking requests so I asked for "Desperado". I love that song and it brings back a wonderful memory I have of riding in a convertible with Allen across the California desert back in the 90s. Following that someone (not me, I swear!) requested "Mandy" by Barry Manilow. So Jim sang that one and then went right into another Manilow tune "Could it be Magic" - one of my favorites. I listened to the music while writing a letter to Gina - my oldest and dearest friend. I also talked to Jesus for...

A friend of mine said this to me last night and I don't think he realized when he said it that it would become something so meaningful. I am going to take the rest of the summer to walk out this concept of seizing the day. I have lived a life of fear and in recent years God has been ridding me of it. I have stepped into things that I never would have before without analyzing and hyper-spiritualizing it to the point of paralysis. What I have learned quite clearly in recent days is that you can follow all the 'rules' and the 'they says' and still end up flat on your ass. So I have been taking the bull by the horns a lot more than I used to and it has been great! I have scraped my knees a few times and taken a horn in the gut more than once. But it beats sitting on the sidelines worrying. I used to think that living life this way was ungodly...I mean, what if you make a mistake? What if you do something bad? What if...What if...What if..? Well, WHAT IF??? What if God...