Eric leaves with Paul...and malpractice.

I think Eric may have been a Paul Newman fan. He and Paul both left for the Heavenlies today. :(

I unfortunately may bear some responsibility in Eric's death...When I was feeding him there were times when there was more milk coming out of the syringe than he could take in...I tried to keep it to where I only gave him some when he was licking the syringe or grabbing for it. I was concerned about him aspirating, but it was hard to regulate...And I think he must have...so he got fluid in his lungs. The rehabber I was planning to take him to today pretty much confirmed that. When I told her his condition at the end she said kind of shortly (not realizing I had been the only one to feed him) "Whoever had him before you force fed him and the fluid went to his lungs instead of his stomach".

I said it was me that fed him and I didn't force feed him. I explained about trying to regulate the syringe. She back pedaled then and said "I thought someone had him before you" I said "Yeah, but they didn't give him anything"...She said "Oh....well, we live and learn...It's OK"...Funny how people talk when they think they are talking about someone else...

I'm not going to live in condemnation of myself, but I'm also not going to live in denial of my mistake. The rehabber was right - we do live and learn. I will be even more careful next time.

I know Eric is in a good place...

Comments

melanie said…
Oh, I'm sorry!
You are on to something about talking about people when they are not there. Food for thought.
8:50 AM
Helen Ann said…
Yeah...I've stuck my foot in my mouth like that before...She ain't alone... :)
9:02 AM
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