Bubbles, everyone, bubbles!
This is a repost of a blog that I wrote a couple of years ago...I was remembering this recently and thought it would be fun to relive this experience as it is one of those stories that you look back on and just shake your head. :)
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August 31, 2006
Journey with me to the interview I had today! It was with a Preschool which shall remain nameless for its own protection and all names have been changed.
This lovely Thursday morning, I traveled over the river to the corporate office of the Preschool That Must Not Be Named (Heretofore known as "PTMNBN"). Upon entering, I observed a girl - I am assuming is the receptionist - sitting at her desk, but on the floor next to her big comfy desk chair. She was talking on the phone. She was discussing the crap someone keeps pulling, how tired she is of it and what she is going to do to prevent it in the future. She barely acknowledged me. I stood there for a couple of minutes and then another lady came out of an office behind the front desk. She was quite friendly and introduced herself as Donna. She took me into her office, confirmed my name and asked me to have a seat.
"How much time do you have today?" She asked.
"I'm not on a schedule," I replied and handed her my teaching portfolio.
She said thanks and said she would look at it while I was watching the three videos they had for me to view.
"The first video," she explained, "talks about how the program at PTMNBN works and what is expected of every employee."
I nodded.
"The next one talks about the after school program and the third video shows an example of a teacher implementing our program's curriculum."
She said that after I watched the videos and took the quiz, they would take me to observe at one of the schools and then do an interactive observation of me with the kids.
Note: This is the point in the story where Steve and Denny said respectively "Why am I thinking Kool-Aid?" and "Cult-cult-cult" :)
I agreed to the process..It seemed appropriate and fair. Donna handed me the policy manual, the after school teacher rules and the post-video quiz. She brought me into a room with 2 other girls who were already watching the first video. She apologized for the bad quality of the video which was rolling and fuzzy and assured me they were working on making one that looks better. I settled in to catch up on the video and look over the policy manual.
It did not take long for me to suddenly feel like a 15 year old girl scout watching a "How to babysit properly" video. The owner of the school was sitting there on the screen going page by page through the employee manual...laboriously, point by point...And I must note that this manual includes explanations such as when to change a diaper, how to speak to children and the especially helpful nugget: How to read a book outloud to kids:
"Be sure to hold the book out to the side, facing outward so all the children can see it...and ask questions about the book such as 'what colors do you see?'"
I was desperately trying not to let my jaw fall onto the table...and trying like mad to calm my ego and remember that I should be humble...But really, C'mon! Aside from having enough experience to know these basics, even when I DIDN'T have experience I knew how to read a book to a child.
Next we were told we ALWAYS had to be bubbly and warm and always had to smile because children love to see smiling adults. Yes, the phrase, "Be bubbly" is in their employee manual. My hackles were going up by the minute despite every effort to talk them down.
Somehow I made it through the first video. Determined not to jump ship prematurely, I had great hopes that the 2nd video would be better - Hopes that were quickly doused.
This one was hosted by a girl who proceeded to tell us how to wear a name tag so that parents know who they are talking to. "See mine?" (camera closes in on her name tag) "It says 'Teacher Becky'... She explained that we should have our activities and lessons prepared before hand "so you're not standing there cutting out art projects while the students wait."
At this point I zoned out. I was busy trying to decide whether to stay or go. I thought about the $12/hr. that I would be paid. Then thought about the $150/hr in therapy that I would need to survive this place. I decided that I was not yet at a place of desperation. It wasn't worth it. I had to plan a graceful exit. Do I pretend Denny called with an emergency? Do I simply say "something has come up - can I reschedule my interview?" There must be some way to get out of there with my dignity intact.
Calmly, I gathered my things and said "so long" to my fellow inmates. I went into the office and quietly put the paperwork on Donna's desk - realizing now that the owner of the whole blessed PTMNBN franchise (and illustrious hostess of the first video) was standing there with Donna. Donna asked me if I was done watching the videos.
"I don't think this will be a good fit." I said and smiled apologetically. "Could I just get my portfolio?"
Donna looked at me in surprise and sayid "Oh, OK..." She handed me my portfolio. "was anything wrong?"
"No," I said "I just don't think it's a good fit...but thank you."
The owner introduced herself and said "I have to know...what didn't work for you?"
Do I tell her that I felt insulted and condescended to? Do I offer the constructive criticism she seems to want? Maybe it will help?
Nah.
I start for the door and say "I just don't think it would work out".
The owner pursued me to the exit asking me to explain. Finally I paused at the door, looked at her as sincerely as I could and said "I don't think I'm bubbly enough for you".
That stopped her short...she smiled and nodded and kind of shrugged. I gave her a wave and smile and booked it down the steps to the safety of my Saturn.
Kool-Aid indeed!
SHEESH!
This lovely Thursday morning, I traveled over the river to the corporate office of the Preschool That Must Not Be Named (Heretofore known as "PTMNBN"). Upon entering, I observed a girl - I am assuming is the receptionist - sitting at her desk, but on the floor next to her big comfy desk chair. She was talking on the phone. She was discussing the crap someone keeps pulling, how tired she is of it and what she is going to do to prevent it in the future. She barely acknowledged me. I stood there for a couple of minutes and then another lady came out of an office behind the front desk. She was quite friendly and introduced herself as Donna. She took me into her office, confirmed my name and asked me to have a seat.
"How much time do you have today?" She asked.
"I'm not on a schedule," I replied and handed her my teaching portfolio.
She said thanks and said she would look at it while I was watching the three videos they had for me to view.
"The first video," she explained, "talks about how the program at PTMNBN works and what is expected of every employee."
I nodded.
"The next one talks about the after school program and the third video shows an example of a teacher implementing our program's curriculum."
She said that after I watched the videos and took the quiz, they would take me to observe at one of the schools and then do an interactive observation of me with the kids.
Note: This is the point in the story where Steve and Denny said respectively "Why am I thinking Kool-Aid?" and "Cult-cult-cult" :)
I agreed to the process..It seemed appropriate and fair. Donna handed me the policy manual, the after school teacher rules and the post-video quiz. She brought me into a room with 2 other girls who were already watching the first video. She apologized for the bad quality of the video which was rolling and fuzzy and assured me they were working on making one that looks better. I settled in to catch up on the video and look over the policy manual.
It did not take long for me to suddenly feel like a 15 year old girl scout watching a "How to babysit properly" video. The owner of the school was sitting there on the screen going page by page through the employee manual...laboriously, point by point...And I must note that this manual includes explanations such as when to change a diaper, how to speak to children and the especially helpful nugget: How to read a book outloud to kids:
"Be sure to hold the book out to the side, facing outward so all the children can see it...and ask questions about the book such as 'what colors do you see?'"
I was desperately trying not to let my jaw fall onto the table...and trying like mad to calm my ego and remember that I should be humble...But really, C'mon! Aside from having enough experience to know these basics, even when I DIDN'T have experience I knew how to read a book to a child.
Next we were told we ALWAYS had to be bubbly and warm and always had to smile because children love to see smiling adults. Yes, the phrase, "Be bubbly" is in their employee manual. My hackles were going up by the minute despite every effort to talk them down.
Somehow I made it through the first video. Determined not to jump ship prematurely, I had great hopes that the 2nd video would be better - Hopes that were quickly doused.
This one was hosted by a girl who proceeded to tell us how to wear a name tag so that parents know who they are talking to. "See mine?" (camera closes in on her name tag) "It says 'Teacher Becky'... She explained that we should have our activities and lessons prepared before hand "so you're not standing there cutting out art projects while the students wait."
At this point I zoned out. I was busy trying to decide whether to stay or go. I thought about the $12/hr. that I would be paid. Then thought about the $150/hr in therapy that I would need to survive this place. I decided that I was not yet at a place of desperation. It wasn't worth it. I had to plan a graceful exit. Do I pretend Denny called with an emergency? Do I simply say "something has come up - can I reschedule my interview?" There must be some way to get out of there with my dignity intact.
Calmly, I gathered my things and said "so long" to my fellow inmates. I went into the office and quietly put the paperwork on Donna's desk - realizing now that the owner of the whole blessed PTMNBN franchise (and illustrious hostess of the first video) was standing there with Donna. Donna asked me if I was done watching the videos.
"I don't think this will be a good fit." I said and smiled apologetically. "Could I just get my portfolio?"
Donna looked at me in surprise and sayid "Oh, OK..." She handed me my portfolio. "was anything wrong?"
"No," I said "I just don't think it's a good fit...but thank you."
The owner introduced herself and said "I have to know...what didn't work for you?"
Do I tell her that I felt insulted and condescended to? Do I offer the constructive criticism she seems to want? Maybe it will help?
Nah.
I start for the door and say "I just don't think it would work out".
The owner pursued me to the exit asking me to explain. Finally I paused at the door, looked at her as sincerely as I could and said "I don't think I'm bubbly enough for you".
That stopped her short...she smiled and nodded and kind of shrugged. I gave her a wave and smile and booked it down the steps to the safety of my Saturn.
Kool-Aid indeed!
SHEESH!
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