Wrestling

Heavenly Dad and I did some serious wrestling last night. Something in me broke as I listened to Bentley hack and cough and as I thought about Denny and the surrounding circumstances. All the prayer energy I have put toward both...And then I thought of all the many stories of people who have stood on His promises for healing and deliverance who have never seen either in this lifetime. I just became overwhlemed with anger and frustration. In my spirit I yelled at Him and shook my fist and didn't care that it was the eve of the day we celebrate the birth of Christ. Because I felt more like Jesus during the time we now celebrate as Easter when he said "My God, Why have you forsaken me?!"

Then I fell asleep. And when I woke up a bunch of stuff fell into place in my head. It was like a tangled knot was undone. I was energized and thankful for a God I can be real with. Who will listen to me cry and scream until I am exhausted and then sit beside me and whisper His love and healing words to me. Not everything makes complete sense and everything is not resolved. But my footing is still on the Rock. Because My Father never lets me down.


Amen and Amen